I haven’t had decent sleep today because I was really worried about my friends in the Philippines who were facing the Tropical Storm, Basyang. I was such a mommy sending them text messages asking how they were and telling them to stay home because it was dangerous to go out.
Sometimes I feel my friends get strangled by my “love” for them. I was once told by a good friend of mine that I easily get hurt, because I always gave my all to those who I feel are important to me. I just realized that the reason I do this is that I tend to let go of my friends. Whenever I move on to another stage of my life, I usually leave behind those people who were with me then.
Case in point: my high school barkada. It took us five years to finally have a reunion. I hardly replied to their messages on facebook, yahoo messenger, or through text. It took me 2 years to finally add them on facebook. That’s how much I distanced myself from them. I do not mean to do it. It’s just that every time I pass a milestone in my life, I feel I have changed too much to relate to certain people.
This is mainly because of the lack of communication. I mean we don’t really have anything in common anymore nor do we know much about each other to have anything to talk about. It’s fun to dig up old memories but it’s tiring to keep going to the past, without anything to talk about on the present.
I don’t want that to happen with my group of friends now, and I think that’s something some of them don’t understand. I have a record of eventually leaving behind people. I don’t mean to. It just happens especially if I’ve drifted too far. That is why I’m trying to keep as close as I can when it comes to my college friends. I don’t want it to happen with them, they’ve become too big a part of my life for me to just forget them. But sometimes I can’t help but not care anymore since it’s hard to be the one doing most of the reaching out.
Anyway, enough of that. Now everyone knows I’m a ditcher. Kbye.
Anyway, updates to the letters blog:
The headings are getting longer and longer by the day 😐