I was going to make this entry my “Goodbye Internet” one but I knew that was kindov foolish of me. I can’t survive without internet. I need to watch my shows as they get released, get updates from some friends, and write on my blog because this is the only medium I have left since I have no friends here.
For those wondering why I had to deactivate my facebook account (Ehem ehem Haeja, Ms Gruet), I have several reasons. And perhaps the March incident plays a small, very TINY part of why I had to deactivate for a while.
So that’s probably number one. I don’t think I can move on completely if I keep seeing his name on my inbox or people tagging us in the same picture/note. Sometimes it makes me feel like a bad person. For reasons I already explained in a previous post. But this is not even 5% of the reason.
There are two major reasons why I decided to finally deactivate. Since I already started with the percentage, I’d say it’s an equal 40-40.
1. (and enumerating them is very PolEco of me) I have been spending too much time on facebook. No really. I am too addicted to the games. I play family feud every day, for the past two months, and I have already reached the top five of the board (I don’t remember what part specifically). I have a FIFA team which is right now the top with 300 wins (I even bought match points online just so I can play more.) I own a bakery, a restaurant, a hotel, a cafe, and I live in the frontier. Most of these I visit everyday. And I realized this took too much of my time. I never got into playing Pet Society or Farmville, but now that I have so much time in my hands, I got too addicted to those games. It’s no longer funny. Aside from games, I read my contact updates every day, and sometimes I even refresh it. It’s a sad sad life. Facebook has taken over my life now, and I have to show it who’s boss.
2. I realize that I’ve been too clingy to my friends on facebook. To the point that I have been dubbed as Nostalgia Queen by one of them. But really I have become too… present. It’s like I never left the country. I think Facebook has been helping me in my denial that things won’t change. Because things have changed so much these past few months and I have to accept that. Being omnipresent through facebook is only a temporary relief to what is about to come. So I want to stop pretending that things are the same. It’s my way of detaching from Manila, temporarily, so I can move on with my life here. And besides, I see it as a way for me to finally see who my real friends are. Facebook makes it too easy to reconnect, and sometimes it would be nice to know who will reach out without facebook. I think people did well without facebook, what’s stopping our generation. Besides, who can maintain 500+ friendships at the same time? There’s even a study that shows that the brain can only maintain 150 friends at a time. I honestly just want to know who will reach out and who won’t without facebook. 🙂
Those are the biggest considerations as to why I “quit” Facebook. There’s still a 5% left, which is mainly to remove the pressure of accepting some of the adults here who tried to add me. You’re my parents’ friends, not mine. My friends are your kids. Please understand. Plus, people here like to talk a lot, so I’ve been warned. So that lessens the chance of that too.
I really don’t know how long I will last without a facebook account since I like being in the loop. But I guess it’s my chance to feel how it is to be out of the loop (and have a quiet life). So goodbye Facebook, for now.