Retrospect and Prospects

PicCollageA bucket list is just a bunch of meaningless words if you don’t start acting on it while you still can. I think that is the biggest lesson that I learned this year. I would like to think of 2012 as the year I started trying to take control of my own life – as the year I decided to get out of my comfort zone and actually start acting towards my dreams. I’m not there yet, I haven’t accomplished a tenth of what I thought I would by the time I reached this age but I’m getting there. A few years ago I kept my life on hold because I thought that the world didn’t want me to succeed. Upon much introspection, I realized that the reason I’m lagging behind on my aspirations is that I’ve never given myself the chance to try getting away from my self-imposed misery. I would spend days and nights sulking at how much better my life would be somewhere else instead of working on ways on how I can get myself out. I think it’s because I’m actually really scared that I won’t actually be able to do it.

By keeping myself stagnant, I ensured that I won’t walk into any failures, I secured myself from any damning mistakes that I would eventually regret but I was also keeping myself from any possibilities of success. I wouldn’t try because I was too afraid to fail but I would never succeed because I never tried. Out of my own fear to make mistakes, I was making the biggest mistake I could ever make and it was hampering my own growth. There was no one else to blame for that but myself. Thank God I realized that now.

2012 was the year I finally threw caution to the wind – when I took my first risk – and it was deliciously rewarding. Early this year, I decided I wanted to tour the United Kingdom. This was something big for me because for one, I don’t have a stable enough savings account that would allow me to get through this without it taking a huge hit. Flash forward to a few months later, I sit here typing on my computer, proud of myself for being able to do it ALL BY MYSELF. From the first step to the last, I managed to hold my own and fulfill one of my biggest wishes in life. I had always wanted to go the the United Kingdom as it was the birth place of my favorites, Harry Potter and Doctor Who, and my fan girl fantasies finally came to a fruition.

The whole experience gave me a huge stepping stone towards accomplishing my future plans of continuing to check off things off my bucket list. This mainly consists of travel destinations. I promise myself that 2013 will be a year of travel, that I will be able to go to at least 3 new international destinations next year and many more local destinations. I promise that in 2013 I will take more risks. I won’t stay in my comfort zone. I promise in 2013 I will start living my dreams instead of dreaming of a life I’d want to live. This is it 2013, you’re full of potential and I’m ready for you! Thank you for the amazing year, 2012! You were a good teacher. Now it’s time for me to live up to my promises to the new year. Happy New Year, everyone!

 

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Cliche as this may sound but one of the greatest things that has happened to me in the last three years was that I have been able to identify who my true friends are. Vida is definitely one of those people I consider to be one of my truest and bestest friends in the world, who has been there in almost every aspect of my life for three years now and I have nothing but appreciation and respect for her. Gah, I love you so much, Vida. The distance had only made our friendship stronger than ever ❤

Untying the Gordian Knot

 

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Because I have seen the prelude of your youth; as you grapple with life, navigating through halls. Corner to corner, you painted your world–as tiny as it may be– with a smile; an optimism I can only dream of having. Those who have threatened to inflict wounds on your already fragile ego, were deflected by your naturally good heart.

These, I saw. It was a privilege.

Beyond paragraphs and paragraphs, accompanied by thousands of revisions. Those endless nights of dreaming for a bigger life, meaning and purpose. The melodies and words. The reinterpretations and regrets. We have yearned to rewind and wished to fast forward.

I stood and applauded as they called your name. I was proud.

At the precipice of something great, you never forget to whisper it to me. Like some sort of secret-keeper. Miles, connected by wires, challenging the oceans, betraying the longitudinal differences. None, no…

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Three Years

It’s been three years since I’ve started this blog which means it’s been almost three years, two and a half years to be exact, since I graduated from college and moved back with my family.

I know I complain a lot about how my life is here but I realized that I would’ve missed out on so much if I hadn’t decided to come back. So many blessings were thrown towards me in the past three years and I will be forever thankful for them. Who knew that I would have a penchant for teaching children? Three years ago I would never have imagined myself considering a career in teaching. Who would’ve thought I’d be able to pay for my own trip to the United Kingdom? Three years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it myself!

So much has changed and has happened in these three years and although I do feel that I have missed out on a lot of things because I’m not in the Philippines, I do believe that what I have gained while I was here definitely outweighs what I missed out on.